There were two main reasons why I kept my pregnancy a secret while I was at university…
~I wasn’t ready to be judged. I know people will always have their opinions and I know not everyone would have approved of a student becoming pregnant in their most important year at university so I knew that I would worry too much about what people thought and I didn’t want that to get in the way of my studies.
~I didn’t want it to affect my lecturers’ perception of me. For whatever reason I felt that if they knew I was pregnant it might affect the way they perceived me as a student. I know that might sound silly but at the time I thought that if they knew I was pregnant it could potentially affect the way they marked my work or how they treated me during lectures.
My advice to anyone now would be to not worry about what anyone thinks. When I eventually did share my news and then turned up to my graduation ceremony about to pop, my peers and lectures were so supportive.
I guess I was just far too concerned about what other people were going to think when I really shouldn’t have been. Becoming a mum was my choice and something I am so proud of now and although the timing wasn’t great I do wish I wasn’t so wrapped up in caring about what others may have thought.
If you’re at university and have just found out you are pregnant consider the following…
The worry isn’t good for you or the baby. Especially if you’re studying in your final year, your studies and how you feel in yourself should come first and worrying like I did doesn’t help anything.
Would you rather the support at university if you needed it? When I shared my news with my tutor I almost felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. She was so understanding and offered me the support I needed during one of my final projects.
Finally, does it really matter what people think? Don’t let the thought of other people’s opinions affect what should be such a happy and exciting time for you.
I don’t have any regrets but when I look back at my reasons for keeping it a secret sometimes I think that actually being open about our news may have reduced some of that worry I carried around with me.